Two Types of Well-Being
Dr. Waldinger emphasizes that the research has identified two main types of happiness. The first is hedonic well-being, which is associated with moments of joy and pleasure.Right now, we are having a pleasant conversation, and I feel happy.According to him, such emotions are subject to changes throughout the day.
The second type is eudaimonic happiness, which is deeper and relates to the feeling that life as a whole is successful and meaningful, even when difficult moments arise. Most people strive for both types of happiness: joy in the present and long-term inner satisfaction.
The Myth of Happiness and Success
It is a widely held belief that happiness comes with success, wealth, or fame. However, as Dr. Waldinger points out, scientific research contradicts this view.“I can be successful and wealthy and still feel happy – that is possible. But these achievements alone do not guarantee happiness,” he notes. “Many, even those who have won the Nobel Prize, fall into depression realizing that it did not make them truly happy.”
According to the expert, there is a cultural myth: “If I become rich and famous, I will be happy.” But in practice, this scenario works very rarely.
Simple Habits – Big Results
Dr. Waldinger believes that happiness can be learned and “built.” He shares that one of his teachers used to say: happiness is a chance occurrence, but we can increase the likelihood of its occurrence.“We cannot guarantee that we will be happy at every moment, but we can create conditions under which it happens more often,” he explains. This includes more active relationships with others, caring for them, and maintaining connections.
Practicing meditation, developing a sense of gratitude, and spiritual reflection help people better appreciate the value of their lives and strengthen connections with others.
Relationships and Happiness: A Reconsidered Perspective
Classical ideas about happiness, according to Dr. Waldinger, sometimes require rethinking. In response to the famous quote by Leo Tolstoy from "Anna Karenina": “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way,” he offers a different perspective.“I disagree with that. I think Tolstoy was mistaken,” he says. “In fact, unhappy families and couples demonstrate similar, recurring patterns of behavior.”
Citing the research of psychologist John Gottman, Waldinger emphasizes that negative emotions and reactions in unhappy couples are predictable; therefore, unhappiness often has common scenarios.
Isolation in the Modern World
The modern era presents new challenges. According to Dr. Waldinger, the COVID-19 pandemic did not change the nature of happiness but weakened social connections, leading to isolation.While social networks help maintain contact and communication, passively observing others' lives can have the opposite effect, as people only share positive moments, creating an illusion of an ideal.
It’s easy to start thinking that everyone around you is happy, and you are not.Waldinger advises using digital platforms primarily for communication.
Advice for Youth
Modern youth face serious economic instability – from rising housing costs to fluctuations in the job market. This heightens anxiety about the future. Here, social connections are once again important.“Living a full life is much easier together with others than trying to cope alone,” says Dr. Waldinger, noting that such connections often help find jobs and support.
The United Nations, promoting the idea of happiness as one of the criteria for progress, is changing the perception of its understanding. Through sustainable development, humanitarian initiatives, and the fight against poverty, the UN creates conditions for a safer and more secure life, which ultimately leads to greater happiness. It is not just about fleeting emotions, but about creating a more just society where everyone has a chance for a decent life, believes the expert.
Dr. Waldinger's main advice is to listen to the common voices that emphasize our unity and avoid those that sow fear and division.
Photo on the homepage is illustrative: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmghERCpR3I.
